131 Funny Quotes Guaranteed To Make you Laugh

131 Funny Quotes Guaranteed To Make you Laugh. In This Post, You Will Discover 131 Funny Quotes Guaranteed To Make you Laugh.

Funny Quotes, Are you looking for a compilation of funny quotes to send to your family or friends? Or do you have someone that you really love that you would like to send these quotes to to help brighten their day?

We are going to be giving you a compilation of these quotes. So, keep reading to find out more details!

 Funny Quotes

Funny quotes

A prominent funny man Charlie Chaplin famously remarked, “A day without laughter is a day wasted,” and we wholeheartedly concur. Laughing is the best medicine, especially when you’re having a rough day or you know someone who could use a little lift.

Besides, there are tons of funny things to laugh at. It’s always a good idea to lighten the mood by telling corny jokes or watching feel-good comedies, but if you’re in a hurry, we have a ton of funny quotes that will cheer you up and take your mind off of the stresses of everyday life.

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Funny quotes about life

1. “There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.”
―Mindy Kaling

2. “Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.”
—Stanley Hudson, The Office

3. “I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.”
—W.C. Fields

4. “People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”
—Joan Rivers

5. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
—Elbert Hubbard

6. “I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.”
―Mae West

Funny quotes from the office

  • “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” — Michael Scott
  • “I never thought I’d say this, but I think I ate too much bone marrow.” — Dwight Schrute
  • “Everything I have I owe to this job… this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job.” — Jim Halpert
  • “And I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.” — Pam Beesley
  • “I normally don’t enjoy making people laugh.” — Angela Martin
  • “I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to tune myself out.” — Kelly Kapoor
  • “The Dunder Mifflin stock symbol is D.M.I. Do you know what that stands for? Dummies, Morons, and Idiots. Because that’s what you’d have to be to own it. And as one of those idiots, I believe the board owes me answers.” — Oscar Martinez

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Friday funny quotes

  • “Music always sounds better on Friday.” — Lou Brutus
  • “It’s 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?” — Amy Neftzge
  • “Friday is about hanging out with friends, having fun.” — Rebecca Black
  • “Making food is a wonderful way to spend a Friday night.” — Chrissy Teigen
  • “Work starts on Monday. Life begins on Friday.” — Ozama Yasin
  • “Don’t count the days. Make the days count.” — Muhammad Ali
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Wednesday funny quotes

  • “When a day that you happen to know is Wednesday starts off sounding like Sunday, there is something seriously wrong somewhere.” – John Wyndham
  • “If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.” – George Carlin
  • “Nothing ruins Friday more than realizing that today is Wednesday.” -unknown
  • “Wednesday can only dream of becoming Thursday.” – Anthony T. Hincks
  • “I’m not being lazy on Wednesday, I’m simply powering up my productivity reserves for Thursday and Friday.” – unknown
  • “A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.” – Demetri Martin

Funny quotes short

  • “You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.” — Joan Rivers
  • “Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.” — Dorothy Parker
  • “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” — Jack Handey
  • “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” — Mitch Hedberg
  • “Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.” — Ellen DeGeneres
  • “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” — Groucho Marx

Funny quotes of the day

  • “I like freedom. I wake up in the morning and say, ‘I don’t know, should I have a popsicle or a donut?’ You know, who knows?” — Oscar Nunez
  • “Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’” — Steven Wright
  • “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” — Anonymous
  • “If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” — Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey),  Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
  • “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” — Robin Williams
  • “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.” — Claire Belcher (Olivia Dukakis),  Steel Magnolias
  • “A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.” — Graham Norton

Very short funny quotes about life

  • “As you get older, three things usually happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” — Sir Norman Wisdom
  • “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” — George Burns
  • “Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.” — Albert Einstein
  • “People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.” — Betty White
  • “Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.” — Ellen DeGeneres
  • “My ability to turn good news into anxiety is also rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” — Tina Fey,  Bossypants

Funny quotes for work

  • “Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician.” — Adam Gropman
  • “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
  • “No man goes before his time — unless his boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
  • “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
  • “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
  • “I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.” — Les Dawson
  • Bob: “Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.”
    Peter: “I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.”
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Thursday funny quotes

  • “Wednesday’s child is full of woe, but Thursday’s child has far to go.” – Elisse Boyd
  • “Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.” – Bill Murray
  • “I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” – Benjamin Franklin
  • “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” – Dave Barry
  • “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms” – Michael Scott
  • “Makeup can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn’t help if you’re ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the makeup.” – Audrey Hepburn

Very short funny quotes

  • I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow
  • “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
  • “Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana
  • “If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn’t want me here either.” — James Johnson
  • “Every Friday, I like to high five myself for getting through another week on little more than caffeine, willpower, and inappropriate humor.” —Nanea Hoffman

Funny quotes for friends

  • “Well, you know what they say: If you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me.”
    —Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias
  •  “A woman is like a tea bag: You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”—Eleanor Roosevelt
  • “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”—Oprah Winfrey
  •  “Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.” —Charlotte Whitton
  •  “I drink to make other people more interesting.” —Ernest Hemingway
  •  “Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”—Benjamin Franklin
  •  “When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.'” ―Groucho Marx
  •  “I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb. And I also know that I’m not blonde.”—Dolly Parton

Good morning funny quotes

  • “Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?” — J.R.R. Tolkien
  •  “Procrastination is like stopping a train that left the station: when we procrastinate, we hold others up.” ? Joseph R. Ferrari
  •  “Any morning message the good Lord lets you open your eyes that’s a day He has something for you to do.” ? Anonymous
  • “Life kisses our faces every morning. Yet, between morning and evening, she laughs at our sorrows.” ? Kahlil Gibran
  •  “Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.” — James Marsden

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Funny quotes by famous people

  • Luis Bunuel

    “Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese.”

  • George Burns

    “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”

  • Mark Twain

    “The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”

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Confucius funny quotes

  • Confucius say, virginity like bubble. One prick – all gone
  • Confucius say, bird in the hand is not better than two in the bush
  • Confucius say, man who do business in whore house get jerked around
  • Confucius say, gypsies got no babies because gypsies have crystal balls
  • Confucius say, panties not best thing on earth, but next to it
  • Confucius say, war not determine who right. War determine who left
  • Confucius say, woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house
  • Confucius say, man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night
  • Confucius say, it take many nail to build crib, one screw to fill it

 Funny quotes about work

  •  “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
  • “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
  • “Doing nothing is very hard to do… also you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
  • “It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
  • “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
  • “Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker

Encouragement boot camp funny quotes

 Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

Funny quotes Wednesday meme

  •  “I am here to wish you Happy Wednesday.”
  • “Dude I can see Friday from here.”
  • “When you realize it’s Wednesday.”
  • “Smile, it’s wonderful Wednesday.”
  • “On Wednesdays we wear pink.”
  •  “On Wednesdays we wear pizza.”

Short funny quotes

  • “I am currently under construction. Thank you for your patience.”
  •   “You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not an avocado.”
  •  “I never knew a single noise could actually drive a person insane, but then I had kids and realized all things really are possible.”
  •   “Taking naps sounds so childish. I prefer to call them horizontal life pauses.”

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FAQs About 131 Funny Quotes Guaranteed To Make you Laugh

1. What is a famous laugh quote?

  • With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
  • All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.
  • I am convinced that there can be no regeneration of mankind until laughter is put down.

2. What are some fun quotes?

 Some of them are:
  • I’m having fun.
  • Even though you’re growing up, you should never stop having fun.
  • It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.
  • Work is much more fun than fun.
  • I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy.
  • Today was good.

3. What is a wise quote about laughter?

A day without laughter is a day wasted. Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

4. What is the most honest laugh?

The purest kind of laughter is said to come from the belly. It could also be the most difficult kind to deal with.

5. What is the smile quote?

Never regret something that once made you smile. A smile a day keeps the pain away. Smiling is the best way to face every problem, crush every fear, and hide every pain.

Conclusion

The above article contains all the details you need to know about funny quotes that can make people laugh. You can always send it to your family or friends. Besides, there are tons of funny things to laugh at. It’s always a good idea to lighten the mood by telling corny jokes or watching feel-good comedies, but if you’re in a hurry, we have a ton of funny quotes that will cheer you up and take your mind off of the stresses of everyday life.

We really hope you found this article useful? Do stay tuned to our site for more updates like this!

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